Forgiveness is a process where someone who has been wronged chooses to let go of their resentment, and treat the wrongdoer with compassion. Forgiveness is an emotional change that occurs within the person who has been wronged. Forgiving encompasses a willingness to abandon one’s right to resentment, negative judgment, and negative behavior toward one who acted unjustly. Forgiveness has been found to be a pivotal process in helping clients resolve anger over betrayals, relieve depression and anxiety, and restore peace of mind. 

Forgiveness isn’t reconciliation (repairing or returning to a relationship) or forgetting the injustice. Nor it is condoning or excusing the offender’s behavior. Forgiveness is the decision to overcome pain that was inflicted by another person. It is letting go of anger, resentment, shame, and other emotions associated with an injustice, even though they are reasonable feelings. It is treating the offender with compassion, even though they are not entitled to it.

The benefits of forgiveness include:

1. Forgiveness reduces negative affect such as depression, anger, hostility and stress. 
2. Forgiveness promotes positive affect such as level of happiness, satisfaction and compassion.
3. Forgiveness provides freedom from an endless quest for revenge and help to move on.
4. Forgiveness heals individuals and helps them feel empowered.
5. Forgiveness can heal relationships.

Why to seek counseling?

It is time to seek help when you have trouble with the ability to forgive on your own. The therapist could help the client recognize harmful patterns, areas that require change and to navigate them through the tough times.

It helps to get their feelings out in the open, having someone to listen to them and to help them formulate a plan to regain their life back to some sense of normalcy and contentment. A therapist will help a client forgive and heal after being wronged and overcome their struggles on their own terms. This therapy could specially be helpful in  criminal cases, cases of abuse, rape , violent, harrassment, mass shooting, car accidents and so on.

 

Therapies:

 

There are many different types of forgiveness therapy. However, they fall into two distinct categories: process-based and decision-based intervention.

 

1. Process-based forgiveness interventions take place over an extended period and use cognitive, behavioral, and affective strategies.
   
   
2. Decision-based forgiveness interventions are significantly shorter (sometimes only one session) and involve primarily cognitive strategies and a commitment to do the work of forgiving outside of the session.

The following models have been deemed adequate for a wide variety of interpersonal hurts across diverse groups of clients:

I. Enright Model intervention

The enright model is a process-based intervention. This is a structured intervention that consists of 20 units and four phases.

• Phase 1 – uncovering – the client is helped to understand the psychological defenses at work within them, recognize and acknowledge the anger they feel, and evaluate the psychological harm caused by the offense.
• Phase 2 – decision making – the possibility of forgiveness as a response is explored, followed by a commitment to forgive.
• Phase 3 – cognitive reframing of the offense – the client is helped to develop empathy for the offender and accept the pain experienced.
• Phase 4 – deepening – clients are helped to find meaning in their suffering.

II. REACH Model

REACH model is a decision-making forgiveness intervention. REACH is an acronym that describes the five steps of forgiveness involved in the intervention.

1. First, participants recall (R) the hurt.
2. Second, they develop empathy (E) for the offender.
3. Third, participants reframe forgiveness as an altruistic (A) gift for the offender.
4. Fourth, they commit (C) to forgive, and
5. In the final step, they learn to hold on to (H) forgiveness.

    

References

Akhtar, S., & Barlow, J. (2018). Forgiveness therapy for the promotion of mental well-being: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Trauma, Violence & Abuse, 19(1), 107–122.

Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2000). Helping clients forgive: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2015). Forgiveness therapy: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. American Psychological Association.

Forgiveness Therapy (Worksheet) | Therapist Aid. Therapist Aid. (2017). Retrieved 25 August 2022, from https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/forgiveness-therapy.

Schultz, J. (2020). Forgiveness in Therapy: Help Clients Forgive Themselves and Others. Retrieved 25 August 2022, from https://positivepsychology.com/forgiveness-in-therapy/.

Worthington, E. L., Jr. (2001). Five steps to forgiveness: The art and science of forgiving. New York, NY: Crown.